The "5th" leg

I stumbled upon this lovely Youtube video on yesterday's headline article at Cracked.com which is titled "5 Animals That Can Do Amazing Things...with Their Penises". I think the blog title sort of gave it away, but if you're sexually retarded then I'm sure this video will give you the education your mom and dad should have given you.

"Uh, yeah, it kind of turns horrifying toward the end, with his dick twirling around like a tentacle, trying to find the sweet spot on his elephant lover. Elephants are so big they find it tricky to line up their genitals and thrust rhythmically so what'll happen is the Babar will mount Celeste and just stand there while his super-penis feels around." (Cracked)

Yeah, I know. I'm twisted. But don't blame me if you decided to click it.

Fishing Bloopers

Peace out Nick Wong

Ladies, as you can see here this magnificent beast has just been unleashed...to the highlands and lush greens of the country we know as Norway.

I'm sure you'll make me proud by sexually conquering Norway's tall, blonde and beautiful women. Just make sure you'll mention me in there somewhere and soften them up for me just in case I decide to drop by.

Good luck Nick and Jason!

Photocred: Jason Mader

Asian Girlfriend Destroys PS3

Quite possibly one of the funniest things I've seen in the world of viral videos is a WHILE! Oh man!

Highlight of the video: "Can you get me a drink, ya?"

Outcome: PS3 Ownage!

I'm sorry ladies, but this is just psychotic. If you have a problem with your man playing with video games instead of playing with you, then you need to give him a reason to want you.

Regardless, this shit is hilarious.

Essential #4: 13 " Aluminum Unibody Macbook Pro

I know, i know...I'm one of "those guys" - the Apple lover/whore/elitist/the guy who can't shut up about how crappy the new Windows 7 is (I personally like it actually). But I wasn't like this before. In fact, there was a point in my life where I was pro-Windows. I always thought anyone who owned an Apple computer/laptop were technologically illiterate or were simply bought in by Apple's undeniably sexy looks and the skewed, simplistic commercials where the guy from Jeeper's Creepers and Dodgeball tells me why Macs are better than PCs. Here's one of the many 'brillant' ads that have convinced many dumb blondes (and apparently me) alike that Mac is the way to go. Apparently Mac just makes everything sexier?

As much as I wanted to punch a hole in Justin Long's face everytime I saw him attempt to convince me and millions of viewers that Macs are the way to go, I somehow (and I still actually don't know how) caved in. I know its not because of these stupid ads, but I think was more of the fact that Windows has continuously failed me when I needed it the most. Let me illustrate:

It was the summer of 2008, and I was tirelessly working on a ecology lab report that was due in about three days. As I wrote my final concluding remarks, I thought to myself "Hey...this shit actually sounds good...and since I'm almost done, I'll take a little break and play some Xbox". I leave my computer, and after 2 hours of sweaty, sexual gaming, I come back to see the infamous "blue screen of death". I freak out and curse Microsoft Windows forever! As a result, I had to redo my paper ALL OVER AGAIN. Thankfully, I had a rough copy stored in one of my e-mail accounts just in case something like that happened.

You thought that story was fucked? Just go ask anyone who has tempered with Windows and I assure you that there are far worse. The funny thing about my scenario is that it HAPPENED BEFORE. I decided to let it slide because I managed to system restore it, but after this incident I had fucking enough.

And so I got the Macbook Pro, and let me tell you - It is everything that faggoty Justin Long says and MORE! Stability, looks, ease of use, speed, performance. Just everything a laptop should be, unlike its Windows cousins. The only con that I can list out is the price. At a base price of about $1200 CAD for the 13 "model to about $2000 for the 17", it does dig deep into your pockets. BUT rest assured, it's all worth it. Many of my friends who own macbooks have had it for all 4 years of their university career and not ONCE has it failed them. I did have some problems with my office suite because I switched to the new Snow Leopard OS, but Apple does a GREAT job in terms of support. They come out with solutions through their updates almost immediately. In terms of programs and gaming, Bootcamp solves that problem by allowing you to switch to a Windows OS if you need to use Windows-only games or programs. It comes with EVERY Mac.

Convinced? You should be, especially if you've had problems with Windows. If I've done any better of a job as Justin Long has through his irritating commercials, go grab a Macbook or iMac at your local Apple retailer or online like I did!

Top 10 Jordan Dunks

A reminder again of who is the greatest basketball player of all time....OF ALL TIME (in Kanye West's voice)!

Essential #3: Sperry Topsider Boat Shoes

Hey fellas, what's the very first thing you do when you get home after a long day of walking, drinking, studying, or seducing by that matter? Well If the latter applies to you and you've manage to reel in some fish then I'm sure you'll have other things to "do"...BUT for the most of us, the first thing we do is we take off our shoes. After we take off our shoes, we take off those bloody things that are suppose to keep our feet and toes nice and cushiony but in fact restrain them from the freedom that it truly needs. Socks - quite possibly the bane of my existence. And yes my fellow dudes, I know you hate them as much as i do.

But how do we sock-hating folk find the proper footwear that appeals to both our fashion sense and our feet? Flip-flops are one of the solutions, but it certainly doesn't keep them warm for long because once winter or even fall roll around, our feet get cold faster than 50 cent's acting career.

So what is the answer? Boat shoes! Specifically Sperry Topsider brand original boat shoes. Why? Because socks are optional! Matter of fact, they look better without them! They can also be worn all season round, with 75% of the time allowing you the option of no socks - winter obviously doesn't permit that but you can go sockless if you desire.

These are a true American classic placed along side with cardigans, blue oxford dress shirts, and blue jeans.They have been commonly associated with preppy white boys in the past, but that image has been slightly blurred out and replaced with this:

It seems that hip-hop artists and fashionistas out there have made these babies trendy again, with a huge surge off boat shoe-like shoes from brands like Vans, BBC, and Converse releasing their off spin of the Sperry Topsider's original boat shoe model. However, if you're somewhat old fashion like me and enjoy rocking 'originals', then I recommend the Sperry Topsider brand.

I have 2 boat shoes as of right now and I absolutely love them. They're comfortable and oh so versatile - they can practically be worn on any outfit! At about $100 CAD, these shoes are quite the snag when considering the overall versatility and durability of these babies. Grab a pair from any speciality shoe store boutique like Browns or Townshoes, and let your feet free!